She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
I've see this movie. You sext me after the bar and fall asleep mid sentence. Roll credits.
Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
You ruined me. I can't stop referring to everything outside as the "no-walls" ever since you showed me that video while I was tripping balls. My speech may be permanently altered for the rest of earth spins
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
IN THE MIDDLE OF HOOKING UP, HE IS CALLED AWAY ON AN "EMERGENCY". FUCK THAT, MATT'S CAR IS NOT AS URGENT AS MY THIRST.
Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
I just got fingered in the Win-Co parking lot for pills. How's your meltdown going?
I'm beginning a new chapter of my life in which our fridge will always be stocked with jello shots. I'm excited to embark down this road to fruity, semi-solid alcoholism.
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
I still have to bake cookies and shave my legs so Mike can have MILF & cookies when he gets home.
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