what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
Oh god. It's my first day here, I'm still drunk and somebody just drifted in a forklift. I'm going to die.
Bring my lunch to work in liquor store bags is doing nothing for my career
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
I wish a box of wine came w a hose. It'd be so much easier to drink from.
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
Passed out mid cig in bed last night. Thank you cough for allowing me legal prescription hydrocodone.
Just lectured your brother about using condoms when hooking up with girls he meets online. I should be a fucking life coach
How early is too early for a booty call on a Monday night?
I wish you looked at me the way you looked at my brothers penis
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
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