the women in the ladies room did not appreciate my innovation of turning a sink into a urinal
Is it wrong that I didn't stop masterbating when the credit card company called?
did you answer or finish?
both
We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
shes in my pool wearing only floaties on her arms ill have to raincheck watching march madness with you guys sorry
I made popcorn. Partly so the room doesn't smell like sex, and partly to apologize for the things you saw when you walked in...
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
Just told my mom sparks is a health drink. Officially getting hammered on the way to the beach.
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
The best thing about last night is when drunk Lauren asked cop if she could smoke a joint in front of him. And next thing I remember she’s smoking weed with a cop. How awesome is that.
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