there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
He googled the address of the bar, then sent me a text saying "6.3 miles. Too far. :( Apparently I am only worth a 5 mile radius.
I was pissing in the urinal at the concert and some drunk chick ran in and yelled 'but the lines to fucking long' then ran out with 10 state troopers chasing her... Yeah
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.
these are times I'm glad I'm Jewish because the Torah is just like "drink, eat, and fuck"
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
The cat is stealing cigarettes and my vagina cures blindness. How's your night?
I was totally going to fuck him and then his friend walked in brushing his teeth, whipped down his pants and started doing the windmill. Ultimate cock block
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
You fell asleep while I was sucking your dick
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