Why can't we have signs that automatically flash on our foreheads that say not interested when gross ugly guys come around, like those glasses that get dark when the sun comes out?
This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
We have to go find her fucking car. She came home from a 80 dollar cab ride, no shoes, and all she remembers is its at a burger king on a street with an H in it
what the fuck. my fiance told me she called our wedding band last night and told them to perform "best i ever had" for our first dance
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
Omg you had literally better be on fire, drowning, and being crucified all at the same time to be calling me at 7:30 in the goddamn morning.
FYI, Sammie and I made the executive decision that we're getting a pet octopus and keeping it in the ballpit. Just thought you should know.
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
It shouldn't be this hard to find someone who you haven't blown.
Ugh. It's days like these that make me wish my bad habits would kill me faster
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