How was last night?
She looked like Delta Burke in her fat Designing Women days ... and she just left like 2 minutes ago. Right after breakfast.
it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
I don't think anybody else enjoys making out with multiple guys on the same night as much as I do. I'm like a wine taster but with lips... it's like art to me. The bruise on my upper lip is proof of it
For months it was all good and well just having sex. Now, something in me has snapped and I'm dreaming of taking turtleneck Christmas pictures with him. Fuck you, we're going out tonight. I need this.
When you mimic motorboating Jennifer Love Hewitt, is it really that hard to understand why no one thinks you're straight?
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
My morning started with my mom giving me the number for a substance abuse councellor. How's your day going?
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
I really want to stop getting this drunk. I've got the Sunday scaries and it's only Saturday
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