I just want to hang out with her.
You're a liar. Why do I have to give you reasons you can't have sex with my mom? I hate you.
i was having this nice romantic moment with my girlfriend. then jimmy came in and peed on the fridge
i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
our new exchange student wants to hear all about America's greatest politician, "Oprah." it's gonna be a long fucking day
I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
You take a step back sometimes and are like "when was the last time I was sober?" or "wow I need to stop putting everything in my vagina"
Is this an intervention?
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
I swear it’s like he’s filling my soul via my vagina
Randomize
