I puked in a mailbox on the way back from your house.
It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
i wanna stay in my bed and fart for a few more hours
the bar told me i would have to take an hour break so they could wash the shot glasses
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
So I went tanning and I burned my boobs.
They're like sad pomegranates.
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
Dude, he wouldn't have sex with me during halftime cause we were rooting for different teams and that would be "bad juju", I had to settle for 69.
My Sexting was not on an AP level
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
million dollar idea: razor dispensers in bar bathrooms. your welcome, girls who didn't think they were getting laid tonight.
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