So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
You know you're on day 1 of your period when the new mcdonalds commercial makes you cry
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
Got a blowie from her in the cab on the way home. Made awkward eye contact with the cabbie who said, and I quote "Keep the mess in her mouth bro", I did so only out of respect
Dude I live in a fucking closet and still get laid every weekend. Figure it out.
And apparently i asked another younger guy at the bar if he wanted his bud light pumped straight into his vag. As i put back an irish car bomb...
This electrician is just ripping my house apart and I'm too hungover to ask questions
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
He ripped down his Kate Upton poster while we were having sex last night. Im gonna take that as a good sign.
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
I feel like you're encouraging me to commit a felony.
I feel like you're wasting time.
Randomize
