Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
I just farted in the dogs face to show him who's boss
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
Just saw a hooker eating a pastrami sandwich walking down beach blvd blowing kisses to traffic. My day = made
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
YOU'RE HIGH AND AT THE GYM OF COURSE YOU FEEL WEIRD
My thighs feel like glass
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
my hand froze to the top of can of beer cuz i fell asleep outside. i decided to find a way to open the bottom of the can before addressing my severe frostbite. PRIORITIES!
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
New strategy for telling if someone is drunk: will they attempt to drink a candle if you put a straw in it?
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
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