She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
Aren't I supposed to sit on your face?
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
So on how many levels of wrong is it that I'm reconsidering my divorce simply because I don't want to go through getting used to shitting around someone again.
Had no idea what his name was when I woke up. Went through his desk, found his tax records. Ben. And loaded.
Also I have uncooked pasta. I was hoping that could get cooked at your place. Don't ask about the circumstances that I came into ownership of uncooked pasta
Wake up, take the dog to the trails, puke in the woods. More days should start like this.
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
I guess there's no delicate way to say "I'm 90% sure I sucked his dick in the bathroom of the bar."
Did we seriously steal a wet floor sign from McDonald's then get chased down by a homeless man for it? Never drinking again.
You wrapped yourself in tin-foil and told us you were Iron Man. I have pictures.
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
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