I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
You were telling me about how you were gonna marry him, have his children and name them all woodchip.
he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
All I want in this world right now are Doritoessssss
OK. You going to get home safe? Who are you with?
Doritoesssssss
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
He tried to cuddle with me after we hooked up and i just looked at him and said why are you still here?
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
Had mirculous sex while watching miracle. Until she got mad that I kept quoting the movie. Not my fault I'm a good multi-tasker
Do you believe in miracles?
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
No amount of beer will make me feel better about this. It's time for Emergency Whisky
I bet you there is porn for people who get off on someone rubbing Chipotle on themselves
The cops high fived after they tackled you
The only reason you haven't shit yourself yet is because you don't like having fun.
Randomize
