just ask for directions from a guy with a penis drawn on his window
When my alarm went off, he rolled over and asked me: Bacon or dick? Yes, I will see him again.
There are only families here. I'm at the bar alone double fisting drinks. You cannot get any more approachable than I am now.
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
I woke up in a poorly constructed blanket fort on a strange office floor covered in rug burns and champagne. How was your night?
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
And I threw up 26 times yesterday. I actually think I threw up a spider too.
I'm cooling my balls with a beer because I'm too cheap to turn on the AC
I like shiny stuff tho if that’s an emotion
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