He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
Hey mom, soo do we have a family lawyer or am I on my own for that?
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
Idk why more people don't drink at work ... i mean, yeah, the cash might be off tonight, but my customer service is fucking phenomenal right now
After dropping your phone on the ground you got down and sat with it, kissed it and apologized for being so mean
I just found a condom in my jolly ranchers bag. This is a good omen.
His wife found the thong I “forgot” in his glovebox
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