i feel like after you turn 30 you aren't supposed to black out anymore
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
I can't feel my tongue. And that means go. Green means go. And you know what Barney says. Green means go and woah means no. DRIIIIINKK
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
Why did I wake up with condoms on all my fingers?
Considering the girl you hooked up with, I'd be concerned about not having one on your penis.
Would giving a bouquet of flowers to my mother be a good way to say, "sorry you walked in on my boyfriend eating me out"?
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
I'm the only person I know that carries solo cups, shot glasses, ping pong balls, two decks of cards, and a lawn chair in his trunk. I'm ready to turn anything, anywhere into a party.
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