it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
I wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commercials.
Hookup with hot guy from gym, check. Wake up to find he's peed in my closet, double check.
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
And I really REALLY don't feel like cleaning cinnamon off my penis tonight.
Please assure him that the flying penis statue is for display purposes only.
His cat kept scratching my feet while we were having sex. There's only room for one pussy around here. It also concerns me that he owns a cat.
I am a good friend because I got you a bagel. I am a bad friend because I ate half of it.
Being in nursing school really pays off when your dealer tries to pass off naproxen as Percocet. Like I may have made a C in pharm but I aced the pain drug test
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
Imma make him fuck me with my jersey on tonight while I chant Go Jets Go. Gotta love playoff hockey szn.
My roommate made maccoroni last nigh dropped the bowl off the counter knocking it into the dog bowl he picked up the dog bowl and started eating it claiming it was te worst Mac and cheese ever and if he wasnt so high he would stop eating it hahahaha
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