I almost didn't recognize her with a shirt on.
I'm heating up a hotdog using a candle.
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
Just remembered seeing jalepenos in my vomit last night. Reminded me to thank you for sharing your queso with me. You're a good friend.
I threw up in the bar parking lot and yelled THIS IS MY FUTURE.
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
Randomize
