No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
The last thing I remembered was laying in the bathtub fully clothed with the shower running while he was picking grilled cheese out of my hair. I couldn't figure out if i was more upset about being soaking wet or the fact that my grilled cheese was in my hair instead of my mouth.
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
He said I was almost as good as the wheel chair sex he had the night before. Apparently I just cant compete with 4 wheels
There's a bachlorette party going on at the bowling alley, so we'll see who wins greatest shitshow tonight.
It's like you're the one guy who got the "girls have clits" memo.
I tripped while walking across the stage and while trying to pick my diploma back up my flask fell out in front of the dean
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
My sunday was babysitting three big, drunk, crying Swedes. Unless your day involved four or more giant drunk swedes I don't want to hear about it.
He literally just patted me on the vagina and said goodnight to it.
I also told the bartender he probably had a beautiful spleen
my roommate had drunk sex above me in our bunk bed and then built me a fort to apologize the next day
I've got a surprise in the fridge when you get back.
Is it a puppy?
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
OMG I DIDNT READ THAT TEXT CAREFULLY CAUSE I'M ON THE DEVILS LETTUCE & I THREATENED TO PUNCH A CHILD OMG I'M SO SORRY
Randomize
