ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
I saw Winona at my church today. She has boobs, now.
Miracles do happen.
Is it sad that I woke up to more "Happy Holidays" texts on 4/20 than I did on Christmas?
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
Aaaaand I just watched him face plant in front of the taxi. This is why we don't invite him to margarita night.
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
A guy dressed like Jesus just gave me a mini keg. Prayers really do come true.
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
I just found a piece of dried shredded carrot on my bed
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
Randomize
