No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
when your friendship is based on dead babies and vodka there is a delicate balance. lesson learned. for what its worth, you are still my number one.
What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
I feel like god wrote up a contract of my life, and i just signed off on that shit without reading the fine print.
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
Also a shrinking boner emoji would be helpful
Company meeting and there he was. Felt a little weird like 'last night you were telling me how your dick loves me, and now we're listening to a report on sales figures'.
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
There is a moment when you wake up with a butt plug in when you question your choices in life.
There is also a moment when you wake up in a kiddie pool of jello cubes where you question what the fuck you did last night. Are you still in the attic or did you go home.
Randomize
