i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited.
So I just learned that my father was teaching me rules for drinking games when I was 5.
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
My sister was crawling her way home and kept asking us to carry her,then she insisted on grabbing at our ankles til she passed out, how was your night?
Dude, it's the frankincense and myrrh soap. Smelling like baby Jesus will get you laid.
I have your car and your sandals. My shoes are somewhere under the puke couch. Safari time.
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
I just want to sit my fat ass down at McDonald's and never leave
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
I was like sure, i'll have a drink or two to end the night early. Next thing i know theres a ton of dudes in my house and like 3 gallons of wine. I cant do anything in moderation.
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
She's currently singing "I'm gonna keep on lovin you" to her pillow. How do you think tonight went?
Some guy at the bar last night bought us Arrowhead water and I was so drunk, it tasted good
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