So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
Seriously, I would hit on barney the dinosaur right now if it meant I was going to get laid.
Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
She just pulled out a chicken strip and a hundred dollar bill from her purse. This is a legit twentyfirst bday weekend.
I'm basically a mama hen. I keep them warm and let them wonder around the house. not to mention, I keep eye on them just in case the falcons around the house try to snatch them away.
I don't even know what to say right now
I'm a wonderful, drunk angel of hydration and sometimes absinthe.
But you can't tell me I give the best blow jobs and then not break up with your girlfriend who has fucking TMJ! Come on!
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
I didn't have cash to pay cover at the bar, so I traded the bouncer a Krispy Kreme doughnut i had in my purse
Once someone takes a shit in your toilet they are no longer a guest.
Randomize
