Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
you kept telling everyone that you were the mayor of silverware town
I think I'm pregnant with his hipster baby. It keeps kicking my stomach to the beat of mgmt songs.
I'm at the laundry mat. This guy is here showing me his ankle monitor. The weird ones always find me.
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
They both invited me to family dinner Sunday. Secretly dating two sisters just got real.
Um....sorry for hooking up with your brother last night...
Actually i take that back. You dropped the whiskey last night and broke the bottle. Were even
There's jack Daniels coming out of my eyes instead of tears.
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
I was not drunk enough for that final.
I just tried to lit a bowl with my chapstick.
Randomize
