I'm drive I can fine osifer
the lady at Walgreens winked at me when i asked where the cherry chapstick was... damn u katy perry!
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
There is only one good excuse for how sore I am right now. And that is incredibly acrobatic sex. Unfortunately for me that is not my excuse.
Guess what happened to me today at work?
I have chlamydia. What happened.
Oh lets talk about your news first. Mine is happy so it should go second.
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
As if finding out the man you just had sex with is married isn't bad enough, it gets so much more awkward when his wife comes in to comfort you...
The people at subway are so judgy when you stop to get a sandwhich on your walk of shame
He got hit with a horseshoe, set on fire, fell out of a tree, and puked all over the side of his car, all before midnight. Everclear.
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
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