Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
You know how my eyes change color? Well I noticed after I hook up with someone my eyes are greener.
Wow, so you're like the Edward Cullen of sluts.
you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
i caught myself talking to a pigeon about my yeast infection.
I told him not to mix beer with his Dr. Pepper...his reply was "i'm a grown ass man i'll do what i want". Judging by the sounds coming out of the bathroom he regrets not listening to me.
time out. can we just pause the wholesome understanding friendship thing and be fuck buddies for a night?
we need a secret handshake
I just want a teacup pet pig so I can take him to parties with me and never have to walk home alone again.
True love: he brought me a margarita while I was n the shower. He's a keeper.
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
I left the office with a vacuum, 2 condoms and 300 dollars cash money. Tell me I don't have the most versatile job on the planet.
You wrapped yourself in tin-foil and told us you were Iron Man. I have pictures.
don't do laundry while your drunk! i found a ketchup bottle & clothes hanger in the washer this morning!
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
Randomize
