I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
It feels like Jesse James cheated on America.
we ate a 40 pack of string cheese and watched an entire washing machine cycle.
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
Just used the leftover candycorn for candycorn vodka. Our house is trying to continue the Halloween spirit for as long as possible.
I knew as soon as he opened a beer with his teeth to shotgun it that I was going to sleep with him. I'm never going home.
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
Halfway through the night I was hiding in a trashcan. Then I "sobered" up and ran around the house throwing change because I wanted to make my last moments of 2013 charitable.
My lighter is stuck in my beard.
Costco cheesecake and whisky. A night made in heaven
I'm just imagining Oprah like "you're popping a boner, and you're popping a boner...EVERYONE IS POPPING A BONER"
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
Just used the word fistfucking in a serious conversation with my professor in front of the class, while making an appropriate and valid point. Win.
Randomize
