Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
Apparently william has a "couch montage"...an album of facebook photos of himself on different couches in various states of happiness and despair. A heartwrenching journey through what was clearly a significant part of his life. I'd mock him more but I think the fact that I looked through it means he's already won
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
I like to imagine god has to get plastered to deal with the fact that he made you and me
Dude too much vodka. I think I just puked up my heart
That's what you get for taking that guy home. The god of sluttiness is frowning upon you.
LESSON OF THE DAY: Saying Everclear gets you out of explaining anything.
So, Cheetos don't microwave great.
At least you didn't wake up next to your professor who then proceeded to cancel class via phone while still inside of me.
I'm eating pizza in the bathtub
Randomize
