And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
please keep texting me so i can pretend someone likes me
neither the pictures you took nor my hangover explain why there are skittles in my shoe
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
I thought this guy walking back to the dorms with his black laundry bag was walking a black flamingo I'm not even kidding I had to take a break on a bench after that.
You're my favorite person
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
Note to self: remember to figure out whether melted cheese is a liquid when not stoned
I never thought the most recent texts on my phone would be with ASAP ferg and my ex...
I forgot to respond before, I was apologizing for confusing sex with secret Santa.
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
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