Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
Heads up. We filled your kiddie pool with kool-aid and vodka. Things are about to get Out. Of. Hand. Quickly.
She even gives head with a lisp.
I never thought that taking apart multiple age 5 and under puzzles would be part of my house party clean up process.
Yeah, sorry about that. I just couldn't stop.
i wasn't about to bring her gummy handcuffs to her father's funeral
Where are you and why am I suddenly responsible for your taquitos?
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
Drunk at ten am watching Californication re runs. Being divorced rules.
You know you're too drunk when you start calling people out for unfollowing you on social networks.
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
THIS THING HATES MY LIVER
I am a delicate flower. A fucked up, drunk, horny, pants pissing, delicate little flower.
My friend Julia's mom just called her to say she got a puzzle in the mail made of cheese and when she put it together it spelled FUCK YOU and she doesn't know who it's from.
Randomize
