scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
I think the neighbors upstairs are trying for more kids. I want to run up there and yell "mazal tov!"
As punishment for throwing up on my car, I am holding your phone hostage until the morning. You can read this message after I drop it off.
No, you always delete them without reading. Enjoy the virtue of morning innocence. What are you doing today.
I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on.
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
Is the booze for tonight or the apocalypse?
Both. Pregaming the zombie party and hurricane sustenance.
Can I also remind you that we insisted on touching his mustache?
Well of course I remember it took up like 20 minutes of my night.
I'm sitting here bra-less eating jalepeno candied bacon. You know you want this.
Coming.
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
You rolled onto your side and told me 'this is the recovery position'. That was after you were stoned. You've done this way too much.
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
Randomize
