I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
went from writing my paper to watching obamas speech to crushing beers and singing springsteen in a crowd of 100 within 20 minutes. I love this country
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
So I hooked up with a guy with a mustache and woke up on a dragon futon underneath a dragon yin-tang tapestry... My life is spiraling in a weird way.
I have discovered my latent superpower. If a friend is dating a bi chick they will inevitably try and talk me into a threesome.
Why did you just send me a picture of your dinner?
CAUSE LOOK HOW MUCH SPAGHETTI I'M EATING
Hey, I'm making progress. I haven't thrown up in a bar while wearing a sweater vest in almost two months.
I'm finally in my bed, my pants are off, and there's no pee on my carpet this is the best life has been all day
ORGASMS AND PIZZA
PIZZA AND ORGASMS
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
I’m vetoing meatball margaritas right out the gate. We can’t have people throwing up again!
Randomize
