I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
I just woke up my dad to tell him that i made out with the drummer. He wasnt as excited as I was.
My mom is making me buy a single zucchini, I look like someone who can't afford a dildo
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
Too many sundays start with me waking up still drunk in my car.
Getting my nails done with Diana... I'm going for the keep your friends close and the girl who's dating the guy you want to fuck closer
I got a blow torch for Christmas. You are now permitted to be afraid.
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
I wouldn't marry anyone who wouldn't symbolically fuck a doughnut with a sausage though.
How many more times can I say I need to get laid before you kill me?
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