New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
Blow job in a bar bathroom for my Thing 1 while in a onezie dressed up as Thing 2. Best Halloween ever.
I bet the Cat in the Hat never caused mischief like that.
i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
i purposely bought her a small sweater. My way of saying, you've gotten fat.
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
There's a paramedic out here, what have you done?
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
She dressed up in a sexy maid outfit for me, but she got mad when I asked her to actually do some cleaning.
eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me.
I literally just rubbed my stomach and told my liver to "hang in there baby"
Randomize
