She went from zero to smokin in five shots
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
Shaving your bikini line at 11 at night in the Walmart bathroom feels trashy no matter why you're doing it.
Just packed a snack to eat on the way to McDonald's. That stoned.
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
My dad is sitting where you rode me
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
Also fucking you night and morning and then serving your parents breakfast is a bit awkward. And funny. To me.
Randomize
