no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
There's trophy wives that arent even in the 5th grade yet
she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
Is it bad that I was more upset about not getting the perfume he told me he had bought for me then the actual breakup?
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
I actually bought food at McDonald's as an apology for what I was about to do to their bathroom.
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
You said you were uncomfortable with your body and then you started making whale noises
I am taking a candle lit bath, blasting some tupac and smoking a fat bowl. This is how every night should end. Did you go take a piss in his car yet?
Oh, and one of the worst parts... his name was Mario. I fucked a Nintendo character.
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
Figured out how to triple bathroom speed at #lollapalooza.. Girl squats, guy 1 goes between her, guy 2 uses urinal. Your welcome.
Randomize
