so last night my mother drunkenly told me that maybe the reason why I want to be a vet was because I was conceived doggy style.
I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
he called me from germany to tell me about all the gummy bears he bought...i'm doubting his sobriety
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
running the faucet water is not hiding the sound of you vomiting. fyi.
I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
Did you seriously just hashtag my sex life as #yolo2013?
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
Idk if I should be worried or amused that my autocorrect changes the word STD to DTF.
Just got invited to a tree party by some random chicks. They're literally just sitting up in a tree with a handle of rum and a box of goldfish crackers and yelled at me as I was walking by...
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
Randomize
