her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
I just wiped my face with a slice of bread. Lowest point of the night.
why is my underwear the only thing i was wearing that smells like vodka?
Met my future wife peeing in the men's room. I stood in for the missing door on the stall. We really hit it off talking about how her butt didn't even touch the seat from all the years of squat lifting in high school.
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
Ya know what's been the best part of this College Football Season? Not having to hear Brent Musberger say the Honey Badger 77 fucking times.
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
And let me tell you, getting your ass waxed is the weirdest fucking experience.
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
THERES A BEAVER CHASING ME, ANGRY BEAVERS IS FUCKING REAL DUDE
Stop chatting and get in the fucking car. I didn't get my asexual ass out of bed just to watch you flirt and fail with someone you're never going to see again.
Randomize
