You know it's an interesting night when you drunkenly scream at your boss, "You'd make a HORRIBLE OBGYN!! You're hands are ENORMOUS!"
I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
She made sure everyone knew we were doing shots for her dead grandma.
I just want to nap and funnel a bottle of wine in a cute dress
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
So the girl I met at the bar last night came home with me. Played with my puppy. And left.
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
How do I word.. " hey, I need you to fuck me really hard and see if you or I can feel my birth control. No worries, this is just an experiment." In a nice way without them feeling used.
I'm fairly sure I accidentally saw my dad naked last night
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
My roommate just angrily told the cat he should have knocked, but that's not lockdown madness. They're always like that.
Randomize
