Someone carved 'Hank' in all caps in the snow outside my apartment building so naturally I turned the capital H into a K and added an S to the front.
I think college has really matured you.
It took him longer to remove his skinny jeans than it did for him to finish. I didn't even have time to realize it sucked until it was already over.
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
Yep. Just threw myself a bachelorette party with my coworkers penis before I re-enter the holy order of monogomous relationships.
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
I just finished spraying the foam party off my pumps with a garden hose
On the way out the door to work grabbed the wine glass on the floor left for the ghost of Elijah and chugged it. PASSOVER.
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
Did you fill my inhaler with tequila?
Yeah, so?
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
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