just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
I just accidently deleted 60 gigs of porn from my external hard drive. Thats over 300 pornos! I think im gonna cry.
Im surprised that you are even able to text me right now.
Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
Do you remember ripping my condom off last night while yelling "I DEMAND MY MEAT RAW" like a Viking?
He looked me deeply in the eyes and said "I don't want this to be the last time I see you.. Can I follow you on Instagram"
When I was sick she came over with Call of Duty, animal crackers and a handjob. Honor says I can't dump her until Easter
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
That falls under the "unwelcome penises" category. Also that's definitely a sentence I never thought I would say
Did I see you at the bar last night?
Yes. You just kept grabbing my boobs and saying how much better they are than yours...
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
Randomize
