What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
At some point last night I thought pissing in a bottle was an awesome idea when I woke up a little piss was actually in the bottle a lot was on my TV remote
Hotel room at 3 am. She's 42. Stockings and heels. All because I opened with a joke about cougar hunting. We'll high-five later.
if i die of alcohol poisoning tonight, just know i kinda expected it and totally deserved it
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
The owner of this phone is no longer accepting texts from liars, assholes or married men. You figure out which one applies.
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
Pounded a bottle of Moscato in my underwear while watching Pretty Little Liars...am I really gonna be 30 next year?
I have to shave my legs first. I'm afraid tiny woodland creatures will fly out if he tries touches them.
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
Just so you know in the morning, yes you did send your bartender a snap of your boobs. No I didn't try to stop you because you used sound logic for doing so.
i woke up this morning from the best one night stand. i made the guy mickey mouse pancakes for breakfast and when i walked back into the bedroom he said "marry me"
Randomize
