My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
He doesn't fuck you and he's married, why do you keep letting him cum all over your stomach?
In the hopes he'll just put it in one day?
Hes sobering up now. He was just really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while he was telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together..
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
people in the room actually applauded when we discovered you had the ability to somehow throw up on your own back
I literally told her "she's a sandwich I'd like to make" and that's all it took
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
SHUT UP I CAN'T HEAR YOU OVER THE SOUND OF UKULELE AND LONLINESS
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
He saved you from those guys at the club, took you home, and made you breakfast. If this isn't your come to Jesus moment IDK what is.
I was christened with Fireball shots by some guy at the bar. I'm practically Jesus now.
I don't want the fire department to come out here twice in one weekend because of your god damn vape.
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
Randomize
