And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
I told her I had the flu when in reality I did way too many drugs last night, haven't slept and don't want to sit through a 3 hour buisness meeting trying to figure out which voices are real and which are in my head
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.
I was just trying to flirt with James Franco but she kept telling me to take shots out of Ron Burgundy's mouth
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
This is not the first time I've recognized my body is subconsciously trying to make pizza.
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
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