Sorry, its so late. Remember your fat friend with huge boobs. i need her number..its an emergency
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
I'm skipping the 'hey, how are you, I have to pick up something pointless at your apartment' excuse and just telling you I'm coming over to fuck.
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
Found out it was only pneumonia. We celebrated hydrocodone cough syrup. Two long island ice teas at lunch and the random white powder we found in her purse. Mother of the year award.
I'm eating cheerios out of the palm of my hand while I pee with the door open. Is this adulthood?
He said the first movie he ever jerked off to was Titanic because he knew "they were totally doing it in that car."
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
Randomize
