I would dunk an oreo in her breast milk
Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
There are not one, but two women wearing my boxers on the couch right now. You need to wake the fuck up.
Then he complimented me on how excellent I was at breathing through my nose
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
His morals are debatable, but his heart or perhaps his penis is in the right place.
His penis is crooked. Right place? Maybe he starts there, but then he slants.
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
I think I'm a wingman for every guy who bangs a girl I scarred in highschool.
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
So I'm about to drive his drunk ass home and he spits on my car. Before I can say, "Dude, what the fuck?!", he puts his finger to my lips and goes "shhh, its in the past."
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
Can I just buy you sex toys as a wedding gift? Bc I’m here for that and you
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
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