i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
nothing like a negative hiv test and a bag of condoms to brighten my day.
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
For Valentine's Day I've purchased six lighters and I'm decorating them for him. I'm on a full ride to an art school and this is what I'm using my talents for. An intervention is needed. Please stop letting me date stoners.
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
Next Halloween, remind me to find a different wingman. Walking out in your pirate costume talking like Captain Ahab while i was banging her and telling me I had to harpoon the white whale really pissed her off.
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
So. Somehow managed to fuck my contacts out of my eyes. Didn't know that was even possible.
I just used my sisters cheerleading plaque and a children's book to crush up painkillers to snort. Happy Friday
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
Hope you’re getting action boo.
Definitely no. I woke up next to a bag of McDonald's.
Randomize
