i just woke up in a strange room and the first thing i saw was a chewbacca mask... wtf
remember when you found twisted pleasure condoms in my parents bathroom? theyre gone.
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
the only consolation to the fact that i puked in public today was that i did it down a storm drain... so at least i am a responsible public puker
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
coming down from speed on a 5 hour flight home from vegas is not a valid reason for calling off work the next day
so i said i had a yeast infection
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
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