So I just went home and made my own spanx by cutting the legs off of a pair of nylons. I'm either a genius or missed my calling to live in a trailer park.
Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
Every time my boyfriend threatens to commit suicide I change my relationship status as "widowed".
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
Now for something completely different: ive figured out how to eat a banana without insinuating something completely naughty
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
He stuck a cigarette in my butt last night. There is no coming back from that.
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
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