'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
Woke up with an epic boner today, the kind where you can spin books and shit on it. FYI: don't try spinning an encyclopedia
I just googled if crying burns calories
You hit on my mom and then passed out in the kiddie pool.
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
Rather than admit to myself he's hooking up with her right now, I choose to believe that he's not responding because he's masturbating to my picture, distraught over his poor choice, and trying to forget about the one that got away with a heavy dose of meth.
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
She shows up drunk at 3am for sex and then punches me straight in the eye in the middle of it because "you're too nice."
i woke up face planted on your ottoman..thanks for letting me sleepover
wow bdsm is so cute
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
I think we have some hyper-understanding of each other when drunk, because looking back at our text convo from last night, they were literally just jumbled letters.
Randomize
