So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
I'm gonna get drunk and through up on the first happy couple I see.
How did your new apartment party go last night?
I'm really happy i have a bigger bathroom to puke in.
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
I was eating her out when she coughed, I just swallowed a bright red blood clot
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
In hindsight, the torn ligament in my knee is probably the fault of the ginbucket and jager bombs starting at 3pm. I guess I'll stop blaming it on you.
You threw up on yourself mid conversation with your mom and then told her a girl at the party puked on you.
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
Side note, i did some manscaping and now my farts sound way different
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
Randomize
