4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
I think I found my soulmate. This guy in front of me is yelling about getting laid while holding two beers and texting. I think this is love.
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
You were hopping up and down because you wanted only his strongest sperms to make it to the egg.
Darwin at his finest.
he opened up his "box of magic": a crusty tube of KY jelly, three expired condoms, a fingertip vibrater, and a jar of marshmallow fluff.
Good thing I was dressed to impress in my "I went nuclear on my wings" shirt even the girls are making out and I'm still 7th wheeling it...
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
The engagement ring savings account is now the strippers and gin savings account. What are you doing tonight?
I just realized that the thing that smelled like an electrical fire in my house was me.
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
I'm so happy for you. But I still have to shave because a woman has needs and this woman needs an orgasm.
Randomize
