I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
totally just realized while washing my face that Cetaphil looks like semen.
May God have mercy on my new vibrator.
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
I couldnt decide if i wanted to pee first or vomit. So i Peed sideways while throwing up into the tub.
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
No matter how many miles separate us, I will always be here to get you through whiskey shots.
You keep making the old jokes & I'm gonna come down with a sudden case of low-estrogen related vaginal dryness..
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
Thank you, my gorgeous heroine, for being such a total life-saver by giving me rides, forcing me to eat, providing porous absorbant surfaces to bleed on, and everything else you do <3
I wrote notes to myself all over my body. "don't yell at cops again" "Cody stole your phone" "you kissed Cody" "vodka shots are bad for your liver" and "cactus pretty" WTF????
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
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