and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
How do you explain to a guy that he's like a little puppy dog that you play with, but then leave at the shelter to go home to your German Shepard?
I don't want to ruin date night, but you have no idea how hard it is to poop whilst looking at cute puppies.
There's no way you didn't at least start out with a dick. I obviously know there isn't one now, but there is no way that you were born a girl
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
There is an unwrapped tampon, a condom, a rubber chicken and a slim Jim currently sitting on our dining room table.
You know you hit Mardi Grad bottom when you come to in someone's kitchen on the floor and you are eating gumbo out of a Mixing bowl with a ladle......yeah rock fucking bottom
You told me that you would let her eat cake off of your ass, then fell asleep on the floor
You were like a drunk and unconscious tickle me elmo.
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